You can never come to the conclusion that people who appear to be attractive and great, if you yourself have always been attractive and great and loved and respected by all, that the ordinary, plain, non-outspoken, and lowly are really all just the same and in manycases may be preferable all in all. Even if you are ordinary you may still never realize this great truth.
The movie Back to the Future does not have to begin with a showing of many clocks.
When do you journal? Don't journal when you've got everything together, or when your defences are up. Rather journal when you are broke down when the real reality can really come out.
When you are actively seeking God, and immerse yourself in His ways, and are in the center of His will then you have great strength when fighting sin, and various addictions. At this point life is not a struggle, but is acctualy a pleasure. Do every kind of good deed, and know that what you are doing is right.
I have brief periods of time when I am not messed up and can think clearly. Durring these times I will journal.
March 26, 1997
Almighty, loving Father,
Because of your infinite grace,
Console my innermost pains.
Direct my thoughts.
Edify my soul.
Fortunes do not compare.
Gold cannot match your value.
Hear my inermost prayer,
It is to serve you completely.
Jesus, your son is my savior.
King of the universe is He.
Love and adoration surround Him.
Must His return take so long?
Nothing can compare,
Only your face will I seek.
Prayer and fellowship I will have,
Questioning all who claim to have the answer,
Ready and waiting His true return.
Seventy times Seven are my sins forgiven.
Tender is your mercy,
Understanding you is my main concern.
Very complex you are.
When will He return?
Xactly when you decree.
You are my Hope and Salvation.
Zero regrets will I have.March 2, 1997
Philosophy is no longer like the days of Locke, or even Plato, Now a days, the only philosophy that a person of this world can think of is everyone does what feels good for him/herself. This includes religion, sexual-orientation, diet and all other aspects of life. Truley, I know that this philosophy is vanity and there really really is hope -afterall.A Rap about my friend Seth
Growing up in the city of Rage,
It's the S to the T to the T-H.
Sizeth as he's known to his boyz,
He grew up in Long Beach with all sorts of toyz.
An Uzi and a Nine were the tools of his trade,
Come the first of the month Ole Boyz fittin' to get Paid,
Then back to the hotel to get Laid,
Mind always on all the money he Made,
But now Seth's goin' through a different faze,
His mind's in a quarrel, he wants to get morale.
Seth says, he says, "With so much drama in the L-B-C, it's so hard being Sizeth P.
I don't wanna end up like S-N-double O-P.
Smoke a pound a bud a day's no longer for me.
I just wanna get away,
So it's off to the YAK with no delay."
Well, when Seth got to the YAK, he went out to Sea,
And that's were he met up with me.
I told him 'bout Christ, but I got dissed.
Seth said, "I'm an athiest!"
Seth said,"I don't mean to diss religion, My Bad,
It's just that you sound so much like my Dad."Reality
October 29, 1997Reality, what the heck is reality?
What is real?
Will reality ever be real for me?
Relity strikes hard.
Is reality the circumstances that cannot be avoided?
Is life reality, and if so am I living in it?
Am I too cought up in fantasy?
Is reality the puzzle piece that doesn't fit?
All I really know about reality is that it strikes hard.
Is reality the future and my destiny?
Is reality the furthest thing from my mind?
Fairy tales don't ever really happpen do they?
Eventualy even Peter Pan must grow up and face the reality that strikes so hard.
Is reality struggle and fight?
Is reality where fools pack straps and that mentality?
I will continue to exist in this search for reality, and I will try to make my fantasy and dreams into reality.
I just pray it won't strike me hard.
But if it does, I'll still be O.K., I'll just have to learn to cope with reality.
A SKA songI know a girl so cute
I know a girl so fine
The girl is so way cool
And she used to be mine
One day uptown, did all I could not to stare
She had a dalmation dog
She had ruby red hair
oh yeah I knew we'd be together
I hoped it would be forever
But when I met her there walkin' in her corderoys
I never once suspected she'd fall for other boys.My girl got taken by an aquabat
Such a dismal situation-that's a fact
I got robbed by an aquabat
but I intend to get her back
Little black masks
Funky blue suits
These make up the funky six
Oh bat commander, how can anyone resist?
And how can you blame any girl for this?Slow it down now
It's Friday night
I wanted to go out
I didn't want to go to no show
I didn't want to cruise mainstreet
I didn't want to go to no disco
No, No, No,
I just wanted you to come over,
Sit on my couch and hold me tight,
But instead you went out with an aquabat
and left me all alone with my skateboard tonight!My girl got taken by an aquabat
Such a dismal situation-that's a fact
I got robbed by an aquabat
but I intend to get her back
Little black masks
Funky blue suits
These make up the funky six
Oh bat commander, how can anyone resist?
And how can you blame any girl for this?Rules about Girls
February 10, 1998Rule 1 (In the door Rule)
If you are neither attractive to a girl, or the girl doesn't like your style, then the girl won't even give you a chance no matter what you are like on the inside. If you approach a girl that doesn't like your style or your looks, then you are either considered a wierdo, or a loser. This even applies to girls with low self esteem.Rule 2 (rebound rule)
If a girl breaks up with her boyfriend, and wants to stay broken up, but still can't stop thinking about him, she will seek to immediately find a guy that is the opposite of her last boyfriend, especially when it comes to the traits that made her want to break up with him. This new relationship will be weak and probably not work out. If you continue to try to get the girl back, then you will be labled a Jerk.Rule 3 (If it's too sweet, you spit it out)
Girls don't like to be treated nice. Some girls will even stay with you longer if you treat them like second class. For most girls, just don't be nice to them all of the time. If you are nice all the time and always treat them well there is a good chance of them cheating on you or leaving you because you are just too sweet.Rule 4 (Girls want what they can't have)
Girls like to go for guys that other people might tell them they can't have, or that they think they have little to no chance with. If a girl knows that she can have you then there is little incentive for her to go out with you, unless she is using you for alterior motives. There is no challenge, or sense of bettering oneself for her if she knows she can have you.Rule 5 (Love is Blind)
If you, or a girl want someone really really badly, then the person will not notice any signs that the other one doesn't want you until it's too late. Always be careful when you really like a girl to make sure that you are not offending her in your approach.Rule 6 (Absence makes the Heart Wander)
This rule is really self-expanatory. If you leave your girl alone for an extended period of time she will start to look at all the other options she has. Combine this with lonliness, and there is a good chance of loosing her to another guy.
Links to other sites on the Web
Main Page
� 1997 [email protected]